Marriage is a pretty big step that one must take after considering a whole lot of things. Although you may like the person and think he is ‘THE ONE’; there are some things that need to be discussed. Often neglected, asking the right questions before marriage will help you gain a perspective about what to expect from your marital life. These aren’t the most generic questions that you ask on the first meeting, in fact these are awkward ones that you don’t address. These awkward but necessary questions will give you an in-depth understanding of your partners’ beliefs and can save you both a heartache later.

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Get answers To All Your Awkward But Necessary Questions Before Putting A Ring On That Finger:

Awkward Questions Related To Relationships That You Need To Ask

  • What Does Being In A Marriage Mean To You?

It is important to know your partner’s beliefs when it comes to marriage. This question will help you tap into his belief system in the constitution of marriage. Most often, we pick on these beliefs as we look up to our parents’ marriage. Understand what and who they look up to as their couple goal. This question can also help you understand how much he is mentally ready to take upon responsibilities or if he is simply doing it out of peer pressure. Remember that marriage does not always mean the same thing to everyone, so getting an insight might always be helpful. Apart from this, you can also indulge in conversation regarding sexual expectations which is yet another awkward conversation to have.

  • Do You Want Kids? If Yes, How Soon In The Future?

Yet another awkward thing to discuss before getting married, right? But this question is not worth gauging over and needs to be put out there. Asking him this question will help you understand a relative timeline of when he plans on starting a family and how many kids he sees in the future. The answer might change over the years, but it is still important to touch base for now. Also, enquire his thoughts on fertility issues, miscarriage, IVF, adoption and so on.

  • What Are Your Deal Breakers Or Non-Negotiable Things In A Marriage?

Deal breakers and non-negotiable terms are something that needs to be approached head-on. No sugar coats and diplomatic statements, make sure you and your partner discuss this, frankly. We all have some set rules that are deal-breakers pertaining to relationships, intimacy, standards, lifestyles, traditions, values or even parenting skills. Tapping onto this topic at an early stage will help you both to learn more about what to avoid and what you both care for.

  • How Do You Handle Conflicts In A Relationship?

Conflicts, disagreements and fights are a part and parcel of every relationship. It is thus necessary to know how he handles such rocky situations. Does he understand, have an open mindset to talk through things, make adjustments along with you or does he easily give up? You need to understand how he reacts so that you know what to expect and how to approach conflicting situations in the future.

  • What Are Some Boundaries That You Would Like To Set When It Comes To In-Laws And Extended Family?

In-laws of both sides play an important role, especially in the Indian family setup. So you are bound to have questions around this topic. From whether he will consider your parents as his to drawing boundaries with both sets of parents. If you are stepping into a joint family, how he is planning on taking decisions that are about you two, how he plans on taking out time for you amidst the whole family living under the same roof and so on. Ask and be open to understanding what he expects of you and vice versa.

  • Have You Moved On From Your Previous Relationship?

As much as this question could cause awkwardness, it is important to ask it. If your partner has been open with you regarding his previous relationship, then you need to ask this question. Take some time before settling down if he still has some lingering thoughts about the previous relationship. As this could affect not only your everyday time with each other but may also hamper your sex life.

Also, check out these 10 types of guys you meet in an arranged marriage meeting.

Finance-Related Necessary Questions To Ask Him Before Saying ‘Yes’

  • How Do You Earn, Spend And Save Money?

Asking this question will help you know if he is financially wise and how he spends or saves money. If a man is financially responsible, then he is more stable and can also help you handle your finances. Also, discuss if you wish to maintain two separate accounts or start up a home account that you both can pitch in for household expenses.

  • Would You Mind If I Earn More Than You?

It doesn’t matter what the current status is, life is unpredictable. So, it is best to get an insight by asking such hypothetical questions that could someday turn into a reality. Remember, nothing matters more than a husband who is supportive and encouraging. Having a partner who watches you blossom in your career or generally in life and is your biggest cheerleader is a blessing.

Also, here are ice breaker tips for arranged marriage couples while shooting a pre wedding.

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Lifestyle And Tradition-Related Questions To Ask Him

  • Does Your Lifestyle Include Taking Breaks Or Going On Vacations?

This is an important question as everyday work life can usually lead to stress and irritation. Taking a much-needed break from your routine with your family gives you that breather to reconnect and refresh personally as well as with your partner. Tell him how taking vacations or breaks will only help him to keep his work-life balance in check without causing strain on your relationship.

  • How Do We Split The Household Chores? Are You Willing To Help?

Who does the chores, and how often, is a perpetual issue when both are working. As both your careers are equally important, the burden shouldn’t fall on one. Talk it out on how you both wish to approach the household chores situation and how much is he willing to help.

Awkward But Necessary Questions To Ask Him Before Getting Married

  • What Are Your Expectations When It Comes To Religious Beliefs? Do Our Values Align?

When it comes to religious beliefs and values, each one has a set of their own. Some are highly spiritual and expect their partner to follow the same steps, while others are more lenient. Even if he or you aren’t of the same beliefs, it is best to find a way to respect each other’s differing beliefs. In case you and your partner are open to it, try to find a midway to include each other’s values and spiritual beliefs.

  • Are There Some Set Family Traditions That You Would Want To Follow?

Most of the families have their set family traditions that are followed from generations. Be it a religious tradition or something else; talk to your partner and learn about them. Ask what his expectations are from you. Also, talk if he is willing to start on some new traditions that are a blend of your and his family background and customs. It will also help you understand what rituals are important to him and whether you can keep up with his standards. 

 

Also, check out Arranged Marriage Guide To Survive Rishta Meetings.

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Mitali K
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